Brian O’Dowdwas born in Dublin. He lives in Toronto. O’Dowd is a Professor at the University of Toronto. His novel ‘A Wicklow Girl’, was published in 2017. Available on Amazon etc. Publisher: Tellwell, Canada. In 2019 he won the prestigious Prix Galien 2019 Canadian Science Award, as reported in the Irish Times.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/health/dubliner-wins-prix-galien-2019-award-for-pharmaceutical-research-1.4093350
Constant Improvements! ©
By Brian O’Dowd
Lucky Life Times
Atheists ask us ‘if there is a God that cares why life so hard?’ Our blessed souls already gifted with life on the planet, why expect any cake walk? Immense generations of unheralded ancestors lived for us to be here, perhaps we’ll have great hooley craic hereafter. I’d guarantee none had better lives than we enjoy. This green earth requires we better hustle for a crust. Prefer permanent fun time existence with Amusement arcades and wheel barrow races? Regimental meals on time, after lounge about in Eden’s orchard! No pressure. While this world challenging restless minds to grow, be inquisitive, achieve potential, no maze but loads of beaten tracks. Guided by tablets from Moses, Commandments no suggestions. Many hiccups but human life trajectory gets better, our stairway moving upwards builds on giant shoulders. Dispatched here required to mature, may enjoy life, tough gigs get fires going, catch fish, roast beef, search earth’s ends for valued pickings. Treasured stuff secreted all about. Miners digging nook and crannies underground, such brave efforts freed us from poverty burdens. Some fruits of labours invested in hospitals, grasp basic understanding of disease. For us busy engines handled hardest labour. Just in time! Hauling made easy, possible for us to galivant about not spend days dog tired. In 1698 Thomas Savery patented a steam pump, 1886 Carl Benz filed a patent for ‘vehicle powered by a gas engine.’ Thanks lads! Complex environments where silver more useful than ornamental gold, one hair follicle requires 20 types of cells. We’re not made easy, crafted by miracles. No one of us choose to live in previous times.
For eons even,
top Brass plagued by painful maladies,
terrible teeth no fluoride, failure to floss.
Henry 8 suffered ‘leg rotting’ from jousting.
‘Can no one rid us of troublesome pains?’
5000 years ago
In 1991 a jackpot find, Ice Man preserved from copper age! Ӧtzi frozen, strayed up Alp mountains perhaps banished by villagers. X rays located arrow embedded in his shoulder, his head injury not from skiing. Dark lungs from smokey wood fires, pollen with clues determined his native habitat. Clad in animal skins, boots and socks shaped by grass, so once made hay while sun shone. Nothing to envy his soul, did not win life’s time lottery. Adorned by ‘medical’ tattoos. Gander at stomach contents every morsel tells a story. Now with 800 research reports we know lots.
On heals of frozen iceman some things bright and dandy. Tube with red paste, dated to 4000 years ago discovered in Iran. Lipstick made using recipe similar as today! Also results recently from Neanderthal pendant, crafted from elk’s tooth, hole cut for a bracelet. They extracted out skin and sweat DNA from female, worn 20,000 years ago! Wow!
3000 years ago
Ancestors not hesitant or afraid of grueling hard work! No choice for getting things done. So much wonderment achieved by loads of lads pulling ropes, hope they achieved happiness with arduous lives. Resources spent on glorious constructions. We’d not long survive such ancient worlds, cutting and transporting enormous rocks. Men’s life hauling 100 ton rocks, a world powered most by muscle. Facing years of brutal hard labour, no escape, graven tolls on body and soul. Even those activities on tiny Easter island. Obsessed transporting ginormous rocks, no hill too high, no cranes just push and carry on ever elevating hills. Having mercy labourers brief life soon worn out. Thank goodness for fossil fuels and hardy truck drivers advancing this world each day.
Many continents consumed building magnificent pyramids, do not declare in a rut. Loads of Pyramids world over still with us, Egypt, Sudan, China, Americas. Some with ceremonial steps, others sealed provide no entrance. Among most fabulous Chichen Itza in Mexico, built in 1000 AD. Grand palaces grafted from stone blocks, sights to behold with awe. Now they say most workers not slaves, perhaps volunteers? Magnificent Machu Pichu elevation 7970 feet, built in 1500. Needing hundreds slogging, created for an Inca emperor. On Giza plateau Great Pyramid sealed for thousands of years, rocks of 80 tons encased Kings Chamber. Incredible efforts total weight of 6 million tons. Sarcophagus in Kings chamber seals it’s purpose, placed while under construction. This ‘tomb chamber’ for transformation of Pharaoh to union with light of the sun. Although recent report claims Sarcophagus would fit through existing entrance. Great Pyramid used once? Well Moon rockets used one time to put lads on the lunar surface. Pyramid entrance concealed, nobody entered until ninth century. Cairo Governor excavated a tunnel, after thousands of years King and Queen chambers entered. Recent theories this Pyramid was used to generate electricity, combined with intriguing outlines of glass bulbs engraved in the Dendera temple complex. Engravings of figures with ‘light bulbs’, and no trace of soot from candles. If so what happened to that technology? No one knows until Aliens show up with videos.
Quarry master carve more blocks!
Keeps men busy and tired.
What about Obelisks?
Cleo Needle by the Thames.
Since 1878.
At 200 tons.
Stonehenge
Hardy Neolithic men accepted no limitations. Recent report Center Altar stone (at six tons), transported from Scotland 5000 years ago. Pulled overland on a wooden sleigh, a years journey! Hope heroes well fed, fortified village to village, nights spent needing strong brews, task ahead to complete. Rest of megalithic Stonehenge quarried a stone throw away in Wales, impressive with each block at ~25 tons. Must have felt great pride when seeing Stonehenge in it’s prime! These days appreciate we are spoilt!
80 AD : Rome Colosseum
Pope Benedict anointed arena ‘blessed place’ where Christians slaughtered. Rome’s ‘bread and circus’ stadium, seated capacity ~ 50,000. ‘Entertainment’ presented not suitable for likes of our eyes, ~400,000 died in 400 years of gladiatorial fights. We have nothing to compare, except war. Some events thousands of animals, elephants, rhinos, giraffes, crocodiles killed over several weeks. We’d be batty mental cases watching that horrific slaughter. We who rescue abandoned puppies and kittens and tiny struggling birds, do feel sorry for skinny foxes trying to make a living in tidy neighbourhoods. That stadium must be haunted. Was it lead in wine from the pewter? Executions where condemned got pushed out naked facing being savaged by lions. Yikes! The plan designed to rapidly vacate spectators described as ‘vomitoria’. Rome’s Empire fell in 476 A.D. arrived soon enough. Zoo above in the park enough for likes of us.
Hayday Life, 1500 A.D.
In the monastery busy preserving culture and knowledge, solitary young seminarian Monk in Glen Da loch doodling copying scriptures. Perhaps wistful watching out the window milk maids pass to and hither. How would he not? Catch their waving smiles as always laugh together in Ireland’s garden. Mental escape moments from austere life, dawn matins reading Psalms and Scripture, mid-day meager meal of fish and vegetables. Talk only if necessary.
Most desirable creatures!
Exposing youth lusty wants,
held back at arm’s length.
Well only barely.
“Full well knowing ‘all just for show’. Undercover of dark there will be real kissing/hugging down the fields. Oh more of that galore! I’m no fool come confession time they’ll sing their guarded tunes. Many heartaches and emotions created down by them hay stacks. All seeking love like Leprechaun’s gold, before freed and head off on Dublin’s road. Only once had my eye on a shy one, only fantasy wanting to approach, then confuse in celibate spartan habits? My dilemma knowing none can be for me. Now when chosen desired hermit life.”
Young lad eyeing bewitching Wicklow girls.
Stricken with visions on country boreens.
Back focus on ink with vellum.
Cared to make no mistake.
His evening snack awaits.
Rye bread, wine ‘Schoppen’.
Not eat every day in Lent.
Boffins Huge Impact
Handful of scientists enhanced this world, bestow resources and they’ll burrow and ferret. Took us from candles to electric chandeliers. What else you need?
‘What good it’s for?’
Dumb query from no nothings,
best stay quiet.
Youse never learn?
Live by light of moon?
Well good enough!
While sleeping.
Electricity Photons.
In 1880 Dublin Electric Light company installed street lights, after brightened inside dwellings. By magic! Now with us being wired, curled up in cosy nests, no place like our home! Perilous few understand ‘generate’ electricity, ‘electrons’ in copper wire? Whatever they have to do, dam rivers, burn oil, coal and have nuclear power over on Wexford’s sore point. What if electricians all got shocked in one swoop sent off to attend Heaven’s Gate. Perilous times! Then what? Build pyramids some might say. Having no wires I’d hand crank windup ancient gramophone turntable. Cope with Heavy metal bands, Rock and Roll would shiver that oaken timber.
To the Moon, Aluminium!
Apollo’s Saturn rocket constructed of aluminium, one third density of steel. Metal discovered in 1825 by Orsted and Wohler, once scarce more value than ‘noble’ gold. In nature aluminium exists only as salts. Major production started in 1856, right on time as Orville and Wilbur Wright born in 1867 and 1871. Connections! In 1915 Junkers J1 plane fuselage used aluminium alloys. Aluminium cans appeared in 1956, beer cans now request be ‘responsible’.
Okay I’ll try.
Tastes so good!
Answer for Fermi Paradox: High gravity planet lacking Aluminium. Rockets doomed. No weightless floating about for them.
Boomers: 1946 -1964
Bikini invented by engineer Louis Réard in 1946 enabled females do their bits for emergency cloth shortage after WW2. Of note world population then 2.5 billion, now ~8 billion on a hotter planet. In total 76 million boomers born in the USA, now ~2.6 million buying the farm each year as we fall by the wayside. Irish boomers lived best of times holding fortunate if under rated Green passport. Count waves and ways Spiddal to Sandycove. Our gorgeous island, 4,000 churches provide guidance for souls, 22 Universities, Institutes of Technology & Colleges, 6000 pubs solace for those heart brakes. We escaped horrors, other countries brutalized consumed by war. Pain suffering agony families for generations with U.S. brave young soldiers military casualties of Vietnam and Korea wars. In our time most wee islands never send sons to foreign war. Only draft from our front doors as many left on one way tickets. Keep my Leaving cert results stored on the ‘Cloud’, not want palaver of having to repeat. If I return. Perhaps reincarnation returns experienced souls. Restless souls could high tail and find easier pickings away with better strolls in the park. If you can’t make it in Dublin don’t fret, over all our best education hacks it anywhere. We locate Tristan Da Cunha on a map, Darwin capital of Oz, can spell ‘artichoke’ in a heartbeat but not consume. Island of Montserrat celebrates St Patrick’s day, Toronto did not until 1988. Ould antagonist England provides a reliable get-away, still be wary lots could go wrong.
Remember over there
26 county opinion’s of Royal family?
Best hold your peace.
Practice cheers for Brits in World Cup.
Bunting up for Royal celebrations.
Not only plain sailing.
Look not without hardships, no remote control for small TVs, any colour long as black/white. Posh kids first got that control with wire attached. Three TV channels in Dublin, missed the show maybe a summer repeat. Not much actual live football. Still loved it day by day. Now a world encumbered by 700 languages, absurd with new knowledge booming. Fortunate we have bearla, with too many other tongues wagging, time to deep six deliver their Slan-leat, now having better fish to fry. Brains over burdened by Gaelic and Latin. Italy rejected Latin in 750 AD, pushy Latin lobby persisted in Irish schools. For ages.
Visio nocturna
ceteris paribus
factum dictum.
Know what I’m sayin?
No one does.
Something twigged when Latin Mass ended in 1965, Latin deemed not essential in schools after 1970. Too late for my Inter Cert headaches dealing with plights of Caesar and Virgil. Never since scant Latin useful. ‘Land of Saints and Scholars’ curriculum once stuck as needle on a 78 deep shellac scratched groove. Trauma of Latin exam!
‘Essential fluent ancient languages and Shakespeare Folios.’
Beware trip over tumbleweeds.
———————
Blighty ferry. After hook up a partner with a beneficial passport increase life’s options. Every life eventually leaves skeleton lying about, I’ve no wish to be interned. Cremate with ashes thrown in Lake Ontario, travel down St Lawerence, carry back on the Gulf stream to Erin’s isle. No tyrant in my time maybe get grassed by malcontents suffer some Purgatory few years. Life intended well for me, I’d arrived in Dublin best of times.
Foreign Missions Wrought Advances
Forever sing praises of clergy women and men from our wee island, schooled wonderfully by our very best. They went abroad to educate.
Ink nib pen scratch on paper most powerful tool!
Irish missionary legacy in many countries provide valuable education, offering support in developing countries. Pupil with Dominican Nuns, great start, ahead of life’s game. Irish Clergy schools paved with knowledge so fortunate we were. Catholic missions served in 160 countries, served the world over. Our brave missionaries increased worlds literates, now with this world connected by billions. Heroic brave Irish clergy dedicating decades educating away in neglected foreign places. Our proud export.
Present dispensing knowledge better when Monks guarding library doors, restricted access custodians. Cherished possession ‘Book of Kells’, rarely read unless attend daily at Trinity as they turn the page. In their time of course needed preventing some access was essential, otherwise all and sundry borrow our Book of Kells?
Good grief !
‘Owe shilling tariff with late return. Me brother took it off up to Dublin, has a fella in Donnybrook making copies. Don’t worry.’
Earlier Boomer days
‘Surely remember worse times’, said me Grandmother dishing hot tea in the saucer in Ranleigh. Five years prior I’d spent golden summer in her daughter’s womb, nourished by bountiful harvest of Wicklow fruits. Summer best time for unborn babies developing those days. Prior to avocado, kiwi, mango arriving in winter months from warmer places. Horoscopes (and DOB) held due significance. Also in my time bus fares still required ha’penny, easy living! Farthings only ditched in 1962.
Later wonderful life better and better..
Country Girls snuck up on us, they’d gathered in bedsits, seeking romance. After spent pleasant Saturday evenings on couches in those flats, ‘Among the Wicklow Hills’ frequently playing on the turn table.
Hey!
What happens in Ranelagh stays in my Ranelagh times.
Being 19 years.
Sat at a table Dodder river view, great grub and the pint, flush with few quid from odd jobs.
“So tell me all about you dying to know.” She claimed.
“Not much.”
Permitted to take notes.
“I scratched up my bike, blue streak! Postman for Christmas, right keen on science, now a sack to fall back on. Sleep in bedroom with a brother, I’ve sisters, great stamp album. With Stanley Gibbons catalog my India stamp could be worth a few bob. Currently trying to read Galileo Galilei notes from translation! Wrote in mirror image to confuse Cardinali, otherwise boil in oil like theologian John Servatus. Reckon it was lead in wine pewter jugs made medieval times that brutal!”
Confusing the lass, with she glancing about with patience (only wishing) I’d shut up.
“At school we’ve hours of choir with hymns, Nuns loved my soprano! They’d bring over schoolboys to the church then all together with ‘Ave Maria’. Magical acoustics from ancient ceilings, poor boys losing that as teenagers! Castrato boys in Italy how dreadful!”
Feeling double pain all the way. Never recover.
“I’ve recordings so divine!” Closed her eyes. “Listen I hear them now.”
Something orgasmic occurring and she softly sang.
First year University lads, former high school bums on stools cheering. Enjoyed her moment took a bow.
“Here every week.” I announced feeling proud for her.
Alas week later she was nowhere to be seen. I’d wanted to live this life beneath the Sugar Loaf not galivanting through the colonies. Beneath there suffered heart brakes. With doddering left only with road to Blighty, throwing pebbles over ocean waves. No more skimming Dodder stones.
After not only Wicklow Girls felt so smitten.
So keep moving!
When ‘Improvement’ took a breather.
Lot came to my head when watching again that pen float about in prescient ‘2001’ movie, realizing we’d been to that moon in 1969. Then NASA rescued an Apollo space ship with three astronauts from quarter million miles, virtually no air to breath. Few more trips then gave up, now fear never see such likes again? Ever since stayed put in earth’s orbit, what happened Apollo’s powerful spirit? Saturn V remains only launch vehicle taking humans beyond low Earth orbit. We are using planet resources like nobodies business, must run out. Time to get going!
2001 rolled around, came and went.
By then seems given up the ghost.
No higher than over Rainbows?
Amazing sea faring species take whatever we find, now no time for hesitation. Pirates of old had the ‘Right Stuff’. Set sail in the blue beyond like Vikings, Captain Cooke and Columbus, Saint Brendan and Pacific islanders. Fearless Black Beard and gung ho spirit team what we need. Move on from Mother Earth, whole Solar system planets sit waiting? That’s all for us cresting on fabulous times!
Don’t have Andromeda Yobs coming down the pike, planting their flags. Emerging from some black hole trick. Claiming this whole joint.
Gold digger
finders keepers,
losers weepers.
Well fair play.
When our evolution
stopped.
High time astronauts got back on rockets head out beyond, forget cold rocky Mars. Only 120 day cruise to Venus. Russian Valeri Polyakov onboard Russia’s Mir space station for 437 days in 1994. People have been in the ISS tin can for year and more, Peggy Whitson had 655 cumulative days.
Yes!
We can live in space.
Space umbrellas cast shade cool down Venus, imagine sparking solar panels on Venus! Atmosphere with wind power mostly CO2. Boffins can ‘terra-form’ now! NASA’s MOXIE technology made oxygen on Mars from CO2 present in Mars air. Venus the golden goose, lavish loads on space technology not dumb wars. Come on, we’ve moved on! Humanity needs ‘proud to be from the third planet’ boost! Like the whole planet celebration summer in 1969!
Go Again!
Improvement: Other Lives
Let’s no creature left behind.
We’ve learned so much, others
benefit from vast knowledge.
Accumulated.
Pet turtles relaxed, hampered in that obsolete cumbersome shell. Watched a lovely video, turtle on a skate board whizzing about having time of it’s life. Shows human heart in the right place. Horse hooves get clipped, after shod with shinny shoes. Some pet dogs love watching TV. Time to give binoculars to meercats help their ardent sentry on guard observations. Slightly alter skunk biology get more pleasant ‘phew’, likely easy peasey. Ship polar bears to Antarctica, rubber flippers fitted for penguins. Making an even-Steven match up. Fun and games to watch, but probably a cruel step too far. Better leave that well enough alone, never that twain shall meet. Have hyenas watch wacky videos in their natural habitat, see as they’ll laugh themselves silly. Ladders and ropes urgent required for perilous cliff climbing ‘Crowned lemurs’ in Madagascar. It’s the right thing to do. We have long standing ‘Dairy’ agreement with cows, lush grass and barn with shelter from winter cold. Get pints of milk to deliver. Bulldogs have muzzles to safely mingle. Parrots as street buskers amuse for pecan nuts. Monkeys as organ grinders. Baby sharks shipped to kindergarten schools learn to stop biting.
Cats do their own thing.
Movement Backward.
Look!
In 1970’s Dublin City gifted with 60 excellent public toilets, by 1990s there were nine. Now none. An incomprehensible nightmare when facing long walks back from down town pub. Paris has 400 public toilets all over the city, now ‘City of the Loo.’ If I’d friends I’d well be warning them, this Baile ata Cliat. How publicans let this happen?
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