Brian O’Dowd was born in Dublin. He lives in Toronto. O’Dowd is a Professor at the University of Toronto. His novel ‘A Wicklow Girl’, was published in 2017. Available on Amazon etc. Publisher: Tellwell, Canada. In 2019 he won the prestigious Prix Galien 2019 Canadian Science Award, as reported in the Irish Times.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/health/dubliner-wins-prix-galien-2019-award-for-pharmaceutical-research-1.4093350

Getting Distracted ©

By Brian O’Dowd

Quare Yoke that Internet

Old brain reached out too far, attempted with rewiring itself to accommodate entertainment feasts instantly provided by You Tube, Face book, documentaries, fascinating interviews, ordering instant ebooks while in my cups! Babies deaf then hearing first time! Saving pathetic rejected strays. Best clips from bad movies. Addicted for hours, left drifting along freshly bombarded everyday. Proud passing with flying colours ‘Not a robot’ tests. Talent spotting ‘traffic lights’.

Few clicks on the rodent,

immediate gratification,

such gollops of laughter.

Hard to beat or resist,

knowing that’s futile,

love my wifi, it loves me.

Inter-not my cold turkey.

Come time need sleep

less than before. Yikes!

‘Celtic Woman’ concert in sight of Wicklow’s Sugar loaf, beautiful to behold. Enya with ‘If I Could Be Where You Are’ that powerful song. Brit quiz show clips, LOL with Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and chum’s brilliant repartee! Some jokes I miss, having departed Blighty decades ago. Cat and dog video, enjoy pet antics without the bother, hilarious when they see the Vet office! News from home, once we got nothing. Night after night creating my channel. How dear old cable compete?

Ain’t No Luddite

Once sat at University’s hand me down desk, large fax machine, computer connected to a printer. Needed olden science papers, hike to the library, desks filled with galleys of students. Grab a trolley, steam powered lift to the bowels. Down in book stacks, beyond the walls lies Ontario’s compressed permafrost. Search dim gloomy acres of buried bound journals, fingers crossed still on the shelf. When back up to join lengthy queue for photocopier. Elderly professor professed Universities work best ‘devoid of students’. Hoping I’d cash left on the library card. Nowadays few click-clicks and thar she blows, vision of papers from previous decades. Dog ate my homework, well forget that!

Subway Trains

Once passengers with bulky Toronto newspaper, each section balanced on the knee. Lots of pristine discarded newspapers to read! Brief times later books and magazines, women reading novels, earnest students with text books. Then ebook devices flourished. Now only cell phones, that’s all folks. Don’t watch phones when travelling need to get my eyeballs distance focused as designed, as when hunting for dinner. Amazing delicate rabbits survive and not a woolly mammoth.

Raising Kids

‘Dad why is lemon sour not sweet?’

‘Son always best go Google it.’

‘So you don’t even know that?’

‘Investigate we’ll compare notes.’

‘Ok good idea! Better be good.’

I’ll be out for a pint, (or few).

as old grand Da would say.

Fingers crossed gets distracted.

So sweet fruit gets eaten.

Lemons tried a bitter tactic.

Juice not the friendly citrus.

Internet broke the Book Store

Growing up, random book gift decent for rainy days. Not exciting as electronic kit, chemistry set, Meccano or Scalextric. Worst the jigsaw puzzle. Seventies at college large novels best value then for scarce money. Family discussions with Dublin books like James Plunkett’s ‘Strumpet City’ in 1969. Briefcase loaded by lecture notes and latest J.P. Donleavey novel, good friend Tommy on Grafton street walked with latest Bob Dylan LP way cool! Neighbour kids would get other stuff, lots to barter! Every book implies ‘Once upon a time’, lets go! Still that enticed? Daunting task starting novels if not engaged. Need to want the gist. Now competing on line with uppity parrots yapping, like they own their joint! Oddly inspiring when they request Alexa ‘play music’! Addicted just like us. Parrots! Have them play ‘Whiter shade of Pale’ for me.

Once afternoons in quiet Dublin pub, book and pint making discussion notes! Enjoyed Joseph Strick’s Ulysses movie (1967) helped reading the book. Most popular Irish author? Jonathan Swift (born 1667) with Gulliver’s Travels, J.P.’s Ginger Man (Pub 1955) sold over 50 million copies! Angela’s Ashes (Pub 1996) over 10 million. Well so far. Big fan of Thomas Hardy, now realise too many words, what was he thinking? Describing everything, seasons, gravel sounds under foot. Reddle men delivering red dye to mark sheep, what bonkers is that?

Now with ageing, sports interest has declined. Brain busy intensely consumed with elsewhere. Afflicted by ‘can’t walk chew gum syndrome’.

Oh another season.

Already?

Not many Irish heroes?

World of difference for me.

‘Highlights’ deemed sufficient, lads get a grip with goal celebrations. Annoying! Miss no nonsense Don Revie’s times at Leeds. Maybe halt relegation of proper teams. Yo-yo clubs sporadic invading top division. Yo-yo clubs playing each other? Oh! Whatever sure it’s all gas fun not complaining end of the day. Engrossed for decades.

Once Shopping mall excursion, bookstore, record store, renting quality movies. Then video stores vanished quicker than Bars in Prohibition.

USA Prohibition, 13 years!

That’s like forever.

Liquor produced in Canada,

but not sold there!

Beautiful neighbourhood book store now shuttered. Assiduously I’d supported, not a price check for what’s new then buy online. Never without a purchase, favourite hangout place. Advice! Do not have chairs near magazine racks or taking books to adjoining coffee store. For real!

Come in!

We are here.

Buy something!

Otherwise bye-bye.

Toronto now cannabis and vaping stores proliferating. Toronto suburbs plain flat interesting as Bog of Allen. Rows of tidy houses, green squares they call parks, searched but no sights for tourists.

Well except peace and quiet,

grand schools here and there.

Not my ideal really so isolated,

but that’s Canadian culture,

formed by brutal winters.

Roll over us global warming.

Cottage Video Store

Determined geyser in his station wagon grimacing determined preventing my lane change, that fine holiday heading North. Saboteur of weekend good feelings. Trying times after shared winter, dumb lazy spring getting us late breaks from dire elements. Out of town stampede, highway bumper to bumper grid lock. Determined any escape to his lane got blocked.

‘If I could reach out and grab him’ only my contemplating.

Car with kids, dodgy A/C. Head tortured with counting bills. Mechanic hit me up for three grand getting the car ship shape. Deja vous times with Da heading us to Courtown. Da distressed with problems, once there with pals, Ma and Da loving life. Mechanic saw me coming, more than jalopy was worth. Onward facing acre of grass need cutting, hoards of hungry biting flying bugs. Wee heavy dock developed habit of drifting when ice melted. Needed strength of ten men dragging it back, with only me available.

As my mother would say:

‘Always just when you can both ends meet some one moves the ends.’

Blocking my advantage one car in front? Old coot, some folks blessed with everything, still primal needs be screwing people. Get their jollies.

Saturday night northern tundra, kids in the cottage. Sun down village video store OPEN most welcome sight ever on this earth! Otherwise evenings spent each reading alone. To my horror Beer Store closed early one Sunday. Pleaded with neighbours, no cans to spare. Learn a lot in emergencies and no pub in the village. Many movies we’d laugh under starry skies. Living the life, video tapes we never need rewind. Only precious memories.

Mail box drop.

‘Safe on road home.

See you soon!’

Heaven good as this life at times?

Too Soon

Hell bent on what’s next gizmo! Some things good enough like paying bills at the Bank.

e mail is fine, I do not text.

Phone as a camera?

No need all that palaver.

As Kodak informed us,

‘You press the button, we do the rest.’

Laptops perhaps flat-lined a bit, more fussy? Still wonderful. Forked over $44 for a rocking LP, turntables discarded too soon! Beautiful album cover. Never solved moving car problem, that’s where CD’s had them beat. No reprieve for telephone box or typewriter so stay begone!

Nowadays neighbourhoods quiet.

Except Saturday summer nights

with partying adults by their pool,

earned the unwinding these days.

Seems fewer kids anyways,

indoors with gizmos, video gamers.

Internet ‘surfing’. As even if.

Emptier playgrounds than before.

Compared to endless ructions back in the day.

‘LBW spells you are out!’

‘Yeah who says, with who’s army?’

‘You’re such a poor loser.’

‘Then it’s my ball I’m going home.’

‘Okay well see you tomorrow.’

‘Yeah then I’ll be off mitching,

boxing next doors apple tree.’

‘Keep one for me.’

‘Yeah okay.’

Maybe not.

Depends.

Biography Book Rules

Cut back growing up bits, make famous deeds quicker! Deprived by Ma/Da being poor compared to richer people, no treats during Lent. Cry me them Liffey waters. Gorge on St. Paddy’s day. Trauma with school teachers! Likely deserved it. Lucky ‘spouse’ of the Talent? Short story enough! Seen St. Barts photos, beach frolicking! Tedious divorce fighting over kids.

Only Winston Churchill earned the Volumes. At 75 declared:

“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

He carried a doctor’s note to drink in USA during prohibition, breakfast whisky called the ‘mouthwash’.

Lived to be 90.

Sure he saved us all.

Rest in Peace.

Holograms

Onward with these advances! Seedless grapes, decent pint of porter in Toronto, DVD, memory stick. Hologram concerts of singers departed. Wow factor for sure, mixed with bitter nostalgia beloved stars not there! Truly prefer watching Elvis movies, I’d seen five when first released, queued by Stella cinema in Rathmines. Loved them all. Fabulous Elvis gave us 31 movies!! Feel good times. Dedicating my 31 day summer month, rent a cottage by the sea. Replay happy times, on my bucket list. Get distracted when Elvis was King and Beach Boy in the charts. Being young with Wide World Waiting. Then music good as it was going to get.

Teleporting Books

Books beamed in air! Seems preposterous still takes the cake and donuts. Big prize for those inventors. Charles Dickens words travelling, speed of light! Fun and games! Although young ones now finding Dickens hard to relate. Books beaming at 8000 pages limit, Darwin’s masterpiece mere 576 pages!

Project Gutenberg (1971) typed ‘The Declaration of Independence’ into a computer, same year first e-mail sent between two computers. Now book unavailable in the store? Five minutes later busy reading, by magic or miracle. No trickery! Catapulted with not a word scrambled.

Well now we have it.

Amazing but grateful.

See where I am coming from raised in Dublin. Perilously weak but much valued BBC signal, fortunate only East coast folks. Some afternoons signal obliterated, X ray machine in local hospital ‘twas said. Really?

On edge with interruptions,

watching Blue Peter.*

Delaying home work.

Stressed teenage times.

*Flag hoisted, ships ready to sail.

Gab Gift Gone

Strolling trodden paths vigilant avoid passers eye contact. Now so lacking recent sports small talk. No time for chewing the cud encounters, uncomfortable beyond customary nod. Seeing neighbour approach unsettling, such imposing ‘Hello’!

“How about them Leafs neighbour?”

“Arra sure it’s another winter coming on the door step again so soon! I’ve bags full ready for pick up. Hard this garden work on the ole back. These days. Should cut trees if they let me! Fat chance of that. Eh?”

Leaf piles gathered in strict regulated sturdy paper sacks.

“Naw man hockey, the Leafs?”

“Ah sure only watch soccer.

What ye think?”

Man irritated, observed he was sorry we’d ever set eyes. I’d got nothing for him. Exasperated wave as he shuffled off. Stranger in strangers land, even with TV width of a car hard to see that puck. Well clad Goalies do a great job. Need to watch by slow-mo only takes forever! I stopped wearing summer tee shirt with baseball logo. Definite conversation starter.

Same Dublin town,

Gay Byrne, Terry Wogan!

Me no gift of the gab.

Knew Toronto Maple Leafs not won Stanley’s Cup since 1968. That year Man U first English club to win the European Cup. George Best scored! With Shay Brennan and Tony Dunne. Back when I really cared. That goal is on Youtube. Shay’s first match (1958) was United first game after Munich, he scored twice that night!

Become more pal-atable indulging conversation in amenable hostelries. Resonance when adults copious imbibing piston arms in tune. Rare given parsimonious drink consumption of natives in Northern parts.

“Don’t like the taste.”

“Never developed needs for it.”

“Fierce expensive.”

“Haven’t touched a drop nigh on 40 year.”

“You having a second pint? No but really …?”

Lots of such blah, blah.

Chewing the cud lacks interest!

Rarely encounter wild swan Gaels, occasional Brits imbibing. Strangely awkward Paddy bee invading their hive, by happenstance not invitation. Good on them, never requesting taste of ‘what’s on tap’. Great lads! My loss. Different vibe than back in London.

Okay put one foot wrong,

(perhapsing two)

Caledonia Cup cheers for Scotland!

Why? Not bothered either way?

BTW for the record,

never ordered a ‘black and tan’.

Boomers Last Lap

(1946 – 1954)

Hey one day we’ll not be here, tickers expire. Few get the ‘Centenarian telegraph’. Body a loaner like bowling alley shoes, snorkels in Aruba, tux for those weddings. Restaurant umbrella nicked with pouring stair rods, so owner drenched. Phew!

Ode to Boomers

smartest cohort ever,

we had fruits in winter.

Then enhanced the nest,

like those weaver birds.

Ma’s womb hearts started.

I’d feel an ant in my shoe.

Electric pump patent to Harry Pickett, 1894, so obvious right under our nose. Our world more than bread and a circus. Dickens (RIP 1870) died before Faraday, Tesla, Edison, Wright brothers, Turing, oodles of smart boomers. Dark nights only for candles stuck in a drawer. Henry VIII died at 55 obese, covered by pus filled boils, gout, leg wound ulcerated, likely with scurvy! Today maybe get to ninety.

Our fathers

invented talkies with colour!

No need wallow in 1800 grim stories.

Videos of sixties comedians (departed), seem out of touch, while Marx brothers remain hilarious.

Boomers now at the ‘Airport’,

get set to jet out from here.

Life sentences mostly served,

best bits done and dusted.

Preparing excuse for St Peter.

Legacy? Family photo albums.

Not discarded phones with pics.

Soon buried deep as Pompeii.